Tag: funny

Sexy Stories from Lima: #2

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I apologize for the delay. The Trump/Clinton debate so upset my humor and constitution that I needed to avoid all social media, really social anything, for a minimum of 24 hours. On with the stories.

A friend of my cousin, a young married woman in her 30’s, Señora X, let us say, purchased a cell phone for her 5 year old daughter so she could communicate with her from work and such, putting her daughter’s nanny in charge of the device.

Day before yesterday, Señora X borrowed the phone for a minute to look up a number she had forgotten and found a series of pornographic images of the nursemaid, taken in Señora X’s own bed as well as in her own underwear, spread eagle to tantalize the anonymous recipient/s. Outraged, she immediately began a search for a new nursemaid but, as is rather typical of Limeñans, has not fired her until she has found a convenient replacement.

Curiously, yesterday, at a well attended luncheon in their home, Señora X’s husband passed around the same cell phone so all their guests could ogle the infamous photos, the maid (unaware, of course) being a server.

Sexy Stories from Lima

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Since I arrived in Lima two days ago, I have been rather shocked by the scandalous reports about several contemporaries living here in this city. They all relate to sex, in one way or another. So, I thought it might be entertaining to share some of the details with you all. It is not really gossip as I will add no names and, indeed, unless you are a member of the inner social circle here, you could never ever guess the identity of the actors.

I will be here for the next three weeks so, as someone shares a sexy story with me, I will  pass it on to you, dear readers.

Story #1

Yesterday with my cousins we were discussing another young cousin, of another generation, maybe 20 years old, in love with his cousin, on his mother’s as well as on his father’s side. I rolled my eyes and mentioned the possibility of a tail in the offspring of that semi-incestuous relationship.

My cousin laughed, admitting he does indeed know a friend who does have a tail and, that when he makes love, it wiggles. Oh, what a wonderfully vivid vision came into my head. WHO? I asked. My cousin said he would not tell because I am acquainted with said person.

Of course, now I am determined to find out. I would never have liked to be the recipient of Señor X’s passionate advances (accompanied by his fascinating anatomical anomalies) but I would certainly love to see the video, or peek from a keyhole, just to confirm the existence of the squirmy appendage.

Tomorrow, Story #2. The Indiscreet Nursemaid

  • The image above is of a “Tapada Limeña.” It is characteristic of the dress popular in Lima from 1560 until the late 1800’s to connote insinuation, flirtation, and seduction. However, it was still a dress: the “saya” outlining the hips and the mantle covered the head and face, except, of course, a single eye. It was banned by the Archbishop of Lima in that period but he was thoroughly ignored.

December 23, 2013

Welcome to this reconditioned space, like a freshly painted living room, for my thoughts about photography, random images that have no place on my website, fun things I find, and whatever I want to share with you.

It is also a space for me to write. I love to write. Stories come to my head and I let them free before committing them to text; they are like hummingbirds flying to the shiny red feeder on my porch, here and then gone.

Aging is on my mind these days. I will turn 65 in one week. My Dad turned 98 two days ago. He looked at me, as he was about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. Straining forward, he exclaimed in awe, “Ninety eight! How can that be?”  I could not answer him. I feel that way and I am 33 years his junior. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see myself as I think I look. Other times, I see something quite different. Photographs of me are horrific. FaceTime on my iPad is great to use with close family but I feel so self-conscious with others. The screen does not do me justice and I am not ready for my close up, not ready at all.

Every time I see myself it stuns me. That is a considerable amount of stunning going on throughout the day; like being shell-shocked, each time my reflection blasts my view of myself to pieces. I am not particularly vain, but if Obamacare could kindly take care of non essentials, I think I would like a LifeLift, my lips done, some liposuction and a personal trainer, preferable a cranky woman in her 30’s. In the meantime, I will content myself with getting my hair colored, my handy nono hair remover, an occasional facial, and comfy flannel nightgowns.

Until later.