In the provinces of Perú, there lived a great uncle, we will call him Toribio. He was quite unattractive, described as squat, hunchback, with stingingly abhorrent halitosis. If that were not enough, he was a man of extreme avarice, a miserly man, whose greed nearly rivaled his disagreeable appearance. Some who knew him well described him as bitter, but his closest relatives recalled him as utterly repugnant.
Now, if those qualities were not enough, he was also openly lecherous. His young niece, when undressing after a dinner party in the presence of a girlfriend, nearly naked, laughingly but with some disgust, referred to removing his eyeballs from her breasts.
Once, on a trip to Paris, aged Uncle Toribio and his young nephew decided to employ the services of two ladies of the night in their hotel, to satisfy his unquenchable libidinous appetite. Word has it that a beautiful young woman came to his room, asking for $200.00 for anything he wanted to do. Licking his lips, he replied that be would give her $20.00, for anything he still could do.
I apologize for the delay. The Trump/Clinton debate so upset my humor and constitution that I needed to avoid all social media, really social anything, for a minimum of 24 hours. On with the stories.
A friend of my cousin, a young married woman in her 30’s, Señora X, let us say, purchased a cell phone for her 5 year old daughter so she could communicate with her from work and such, putting her daughter’s nanny in charge of the device.
Day before yesterday, Señora X borrowed the phone for a minute to look up a number she had forgotten and found a series of pornographic images of the nursemaid, taken in Señora X’s own bed as well as in her own underwear, spread eagle to tantalize the anonymous recipient/s. Outraged, she immediately began a search for a new nursemaid but, as is rather typical of Limeñans, has not fired her until she has found a convenient replacement.
Curiously, yesterday, at a well attended luncheon in their home, Señora X’s husband passed around the same cell phone so all their guests could ogle the infamous photos, the maid (unaware, of course) being a server.
Since I arrived in Lima two days ago, I have been rather shocked by the scandalous reports about several contemporaries living here in this city. They all relate to sex, in one way or another. So, I thought it might be entertaining to share some of the details with you all. It is not really gossip as I will add no names and, indeed, unless you are a member of the inner social circle here, you could never ever guess the identity of the actors.
I will be here for the next three weeks so, as someone shares a sexy story with me, I will pass it on to you, dear readers.
Yesterday with my cousins we were discussing another young cousin, of another generation, maybe 20 years old, in love with his cousin, on his mother’s as well as on his father’s side. I rolled my eyes and mentioned the possibility of a tail in the offspring of that semi-incestuous relationship.
My cousin laughed, admitting he does indeed know a friend who does have a tail and, that when he makes love, it wiggles. Oh, what a wonderfully vivid vision came into my head. WHO? I asked. My cousin said he would not tell because I am acquainted with said person.
Of course, now I am determined to find out. I would never have liked to be the recipient of Señor X’s passionate advances (accompanied by his fascinating anatomical anomalies) but I would certainly love to see the video, or peek from a keyhole, just to confirm the existence of the squirmy appendage.
Tomorrow, Story #2. The Indiscreet Nursemaid
- The image above is of a “Tapada Limeña.” It is characteristic of the dress popular in Lima from 1560 until the late 1800’s to connote insinuation, flirtation, and seduction. However, it was still a dress: the “saya” outlining the hips and the mantle covered the head and face, except, of course, a single eye. It was banned by the Archbishop of Lima in that period but he was thoroughly ignored.